No (Self) Service In The Tunnel (F/44)

It was mid 1990’s. My roommate and I were returning home from a movie at Metrotown. It was close to midnight and sky train was empty. We didn’t notice the man get on at some point or end up sitting in seat beside us. We were just chatting about the movie and life. It wasn’t until we past Main Street station that I looked over and he was masturbating, pants down and smiling at us. By this point we were in the tunnel and I tried 911 but we had no signal. We ran off the next station and ran out of there. No security or anyone around. We were shaking when we got out of there and just took a taxi home. It was never reported but to this day, I will not go on the skytrain past a certain time, even with somebody. Why do men think that public transit means it’s ok to sexually or verbally abuse young girls and women. It has to be stopped somehow.


4 thoughts on “No (Self) Service In The Tunnel (F/44)

    • Hi J,
      This is true, however, it reflects a very real mistrust that people develop after being subjected to this kind of treatment. Fear makes brush strokes quite broad.

      Also, all content we post is taken directly from the submitters and we opt not to edit them at all, unless absolutely necessary for readability’s sake. You make not agree with this submitter’s assessment of men in general (you are welcome to insert “some” as a qualifier in that sentence anywhere you like), and it’s not necessarily this blog’s assessment, but this is meant to be an open forum to vent fear, unease and frustration.

  1. How sad to see the poster smearing “men” so casually! Being upset does not excuse denigrating an entire gender based on the behaviour of a disturbed few. How is that fair?

    Does she seriously think any rational or sane man would take his pants down and jerk off on the BUS?? That’s like saying “Why do women abuse their children?” as if you thought they all did.

    Sexist stereotyping is sexist stereotyping.

    • “Why do women abuse their children?” is a perfectly valid research question. The “some” is implied, just as it is implied when we discuss “men” as a broad social group and concept. Nobody is trying to demonize men as a monolith, and we have stressed as much in our interviews — whether or not that part is published or run in the final edition, we have little control over.

      We keep coming back to this, but what we blame is gender roles, gender norms and social conditioning. We absolutely DO NOT think that men are “animals that can’t control themselves or be trusted”. That’s the thing — we think men can and should control their behaviour. As should any of the women who have been offenders.

      We just think that, overwhelminging, this is a gendered problem that moves disproportionately in one direction. Not that all men are jerks, or creeps, or whatever. Please bear in mind that we just post what people send to us, and the personal asides or quips inside of them are the author’s own, and often an expression of trying to heal from a traumatic experience. Co-opting this space to complain about representation of men (which, as I have said to other AVFM/MRM commenters, we DO represent men, we publish anything non-abusive sent to us by men, even if it represents a dissenting opinion) doesn’t really help your argument in any way. It doesn’t seem like you want to complicate or add nuance to our work, you just want to derail it for your own agenda.

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