About 20 years ago I moved to New Westminster from a small town. I went to visit a friend in Deep Cove, she didn’t drive and I checked the bus schedule about fifty times to make sure I wouldn’t miss the last bus. I did catch the last bus from Deep Cove, but ended up stranded at Phibbs Exchange, I missed the last bus into Vancouver. The bus driver told me it was his last stop, so he could take me across and hook me up with a bus to get me home. We were chatting, and somehow I realized we weren’t stopping where I needed to get off, I was young and new to the area and had really no idea where anything was though, so he convinced me it would be ok.
We ended up at the bus parking area, I don’t even know where it was. He told me he could drive me home…he was an older man, and seemed nice, so I said sure…I honestly had no choice.
To this day I don’t know where any of this took place, I have since become very familiar with Vancouver and the surrounding areas, but I’m not 100% sure where we were. In his car, we chatted about his family and my schooling and listened to music. Without warning, he pulled onto the side of the road…it must have been somewhere in Burnaby at this point, it was very deserted. He told me to show him my breasts or I could get out. I panicked, I got out, got back in and did as he asked. He masturbated to completion while fondling my breasts. It was horrible, I then gave him a friend’s address instead of my own because I was so scared he would come after me. He switched right back into normal chatty mode and drove me to her house. It was horrible.
I never did report it, I felt at the time that it was my fault, I made stupid decisions. Now, 20 years later with children and much more experience, I wish I could go back in time and stand up for poor, scared me.
So ladies, never apologize for standing up for yourself, and never blame yourself if you’ve been assaulted, we shouldn’t have to make choices based on NOT being a victim, they should be forced to make choices based on NOT being a predatory douche bag.