The Bard of the Bicep

I was taking the bus home from tea with a friend. I was sitting in a paired seat, alone, listening to music and texting.
This strange old man in his 60’s sat next to me, and then tapped my ankle.
Assuming this was a somewhat inept gesture to inform me that I was taking too much space, I shuffled further into my corner. He tapped me again. Certain that I was not at fault, I looked at him. Perhaps there was some other problem.
He pulled off my ear phones and began telling me about how he works out. I ignored him and continued my conversation with my sister.
He grabbed my hands and put them on his bicep. Then he recited “erotic” poetry to me, kissing my hands until I ran off the bus.

This is one in a series of many bus harassment stories.

And Sleazy Makes Three? (18/f)

My girlfriend and I were waiting for the 16 downtown on a Friday night around 10.30. We’re both 18 and my girlfriend looks a little younger. We were huddled together because it was cold and we’d been standing there for close to twenty minutes when we noticed a strange guy in his late 20’s shaved hair and about 5’9 walked towards us. He was well dressed in a dark suit so at first we thought nothing of it until he walked straight up to us put a hand on either of our arms and smiled and said with a scary look in his eyes ‘beautiful’. I glared and he walked a little distance away, my girlfriend and I stood slightly apart and moved closer towards the stop. Thankfully the bus came soon after but the man followed us onto the bus. He sat directly in front of us and leaned in far too close and stared at my girlfriend as she talked on the phone. I could tell something was off about him so when he was turned away I got my girlfriend up and we moved to the back of the bus. We tried to sit at the back of the bus (which was very crowded) and he moved to follow us. He sat next to my girlfriend and said ‘Come back to my condo with me, I can make you both comfortable.’ We both sternly replied no but he continued even offering to pay for a cab back. At this point took out my phone and texted my dad asking him to meet us at the bus stop at Victoria and Hastings. I feared the guy would follow us off the bus and the area is not very well lit and right next to a large school and playing field. Luckily the guy caught on to what I was doing and several other passengers were observing him and he got off the bus a few stops before us. It was so unnerving that he had absolutely no fear in attempting to get two young girls to come home with him even on a crowded bus!

Thugs and Glugs

This didn’t happen to me but its something I observed and have seen before. It was the middle of the day, on Wednesday I think..some weekday at a time when most people would be working anyway. At Lougheed station these two drunken idiots got onto my train car – it was the quintessential case of alpha and beta male, where one guy was taller, more aggressive, etc. and the other was smaller and sort of following and learning from his drunken master. Anyway as the train left they pulled out a 2-6 of vodka and started plowing through it straight, one would have a go then hand it over to the other… in thirty seconds the two of them finished the remaining half bottle before throwing the empty bottle in a corner of the car. The leader of the troop then sat across from an attractive woman listening to music and minding her own business.. he started hitting on her while his friend sat behind him for moral support. Production was my station so I got off and the first train attendant I saw I told them “you need police on that train five minutes ago” and they said the train would be intercepted shortly…so that made me feel better. Anyway, if either of you two idiots ever reads this (assuming you can in fact read): Idiot #2 ..don’t try being like Idiot #1, it doesn’t make you look cool in any way. And Idiot #1, get help, and re-evaluate your life.. Wednesday at 3pm is no time to be wasted on the skytrain.

Driver Dilligence (19/f)

I see a lot of these stories where the transit driver did nothing in cases of abuse and harassment, or transit cops did nothing. I do have one story where a transit driver did do something and maybe he could be a model for hope. This happened almost 15 years ago when I was an undergrad student at UBC, I think I was about 19. My female friend and I lived on campus but we loved hanging out and dancing all night at the goth and metal bars downtown so we frequently took the very last bus from downtown back to UBC by ourselves. There were two drivers who had that route at night. One very grumpy who didn’t like us or the way we looked and one who was very friendly and always watched out for us. Because we looked pretty weird since we were goths, and were usually in a large pack of friends who waited for the bus with us to make sure we got on safe we didn’t have too much sexual harassment happen to us (all though we did have other kinds of harassment because we were unusual looking) but this night a strange man followed us on to the bus. Luckily it was the friendly driver driving that night and he really didn’t like the way this man was leering at us. We were a little oblivious, too busy chatting at each other (no, we were not drunk and rarely drank/did drugs in those days even though we spent a lot of time in bars, not that a woman’s intoxication should ever be an invitation for sexual harassment). The driver called out to us to come and sit behind him, explained that he didn’t like the look of this guy and called campus security to pick us up and take us to our dorm once we reached the UBC bus loop.  That driver may have saved our asses that night and we got home safe due to his vigilance.

What’s the Matter with Kids Today? (Oh, they don’t want to talk to creepy old dudes!) (17/f)

I was on my way home from a bonfire one night. It was around midnight, but since it was a Friday, there were a lot of people taking the bus from Ambleside back to their homes. I was standing on a crowded bus when a group of 3, 4 girls who looked like they couldn’t be older than 16 came on the bus and then stood near me. There was a middle-aged, rather dishevelled looking man sitting in front of them who seemed to be checking the girls out. After a little while, he started talking to them. He said something along the lines of “Where’s a group of pretty young ladies like you heading off to this late at night?” and the girls seemed very uncomfortable and didn’t respond. He kept pestering them with questions, eventually saying, “Stop ignoring me, I’m just trying to have a conversation with you girls.”
I ended up telling him to back off because the girls were obviously too scared to do so (but he didn’t sound like he was going to back off any time soon without any prompt), and he started to verbally attack me, calling me racial slurs like “slant-eyes” and “chink” and eventually, another middle-aged man said, “Enough,” and the man grumbled about “stupid teens these days” and got off at the next stop.

Staring Contest

Once when I was 16, I was riding the 319 with my girlfriend. A man started talking to us, and when he realized that we were a couple, got increasingly creepy, eventually telling us how he would like to take us home with him and fuck us.

When I was 17, I was riding the skytrain and a man sat down next to me, even though there were many other seats available. When he took off his jacket, he brushed my thigh. I thought it was an accident so I ignored it. Then he presented to adjust him pants, and brushed his hand against my thigh again. This time his hand lingered and I was pretty sure it wasn’t an accident, but I was really nervous and scared so I didn’t say anything. Then he put his hand directly on my thigh. We were pulling into another stop, so I ran off the train and switched cars. I was too shaken to say anything.

I am now 23. This summer, I was riding the bus home from a wedding with my girlfriend. She is a transgender woman, and I am a cisgender woman. We were both dressed to the nines, and it was about 11:30. A man in the seat across from us kept staring at us intensely. I looked directly at him multiple time and made eye contact but he kept staring. After making eye contact with him for the fourth or fifth time, a sneer spread across this face. We were both quite frightened and didn’t know how he would react if we asked him to stop staring, since the look on his face was hard to read- it looked like he could be easily incited to violence. Since my partner is trans, this is even more threatening. We didn’t know if he was leering at us as a lesbian couple, or at my partner as a trans woman. As we left the bus, he leaned over to stare at us as we left, and continued craning his neck to stare at us as we walked towards the station. We were worried he would follow us. He didn’t stop staring at us for the entire 40 minute bus ride. He didn’t touch us or say anything, but it was still incredibly frightening.

Masked Harassment

The Saturday before Halloween I was with my friends on the skytrain, on our way to a restaurant. A group of drunken young men, wearing heavy costume makeup were being disruptive, and a general nuisance to everyone on the train. One of them walked up to me and stuck his crotch near my face and started pelvis thrusting. I told him to stop and he laughed and walked away. When we got off at our stop I told the transit security, but instead of taking me seriously, she told me and another woman complaining, to calm down. The transit security did absolutely nothing about the problem letting the drunken men who also got off at the same stop, walk past us and off of the platform. It seems as if during Halloween, people can get away with the most ludicrous behaviour just because they are hiding behind a mask or makeup.

Thigh Time for Intervention (22/F)

I was on the skytrain last week, going home after a long day at school, when this man came and sat down beside me. I didn’t want to be rude so I took out a headphone and talked to him. He looked at me throughout the conversation as though he was trying to imagine me naked, and at one point I found his hand creeping its way onto my thigh. I firmly picked it up and placed it back in his lap and then continued to talk – this seemed safer than having an actual spoken confrontation. This was the first (and only, so far) physical harassment I’ve experienced on transit.

Life on Vancouver Buses (21/f)

It’s great what you two are doing here. I don’t think people realize what happens to women on a daily basis when taking public transit in Vancouver. And then you wonder why some countries have women only seating…

 

I am a 21 year old female and here are 2 events out of many.  

Man in his mid 20’s.

This summer I was waiting for the 20 on Hastings and Carrall going to Commercial and this guy saw me walk up towards him as he waited for the bus. He asked me how my day was going, and I simply said that I would like to be left alone as it wasn’t going so well. He continued to say I was beautiful and I said thank you, thinking maybe that’s all he had to say. I boarded the bus and he came on as well. As I was walking on the bus another guy in his 40’s signaled with his hands that I should come sit on his lap. He laughed and his friend did as well. I just ignored them. I thought the other guy would have left me alone by now but he didn’t. He sat beside me and grabbed my arm which is when I flipped out. I yelled “don’t touch me, I already told you that I don’t want to talk to you.” As I walked up for my 3rd seat change he’s like “why you gotta be like that.” I sat somewhere else and you could tell he was embarrassed but continue to leer. The 20 was full and people saw him grabbing me and no one did a thing.

Woman in her 30’s.

I was taking the 5 up Robson from Denman street in early September. I am sitting in the seniors section because there were seats available and like always if a senior or pregnant woman got on I would get up for them. This lady who looks quite disheveled gets on with a man. I have my headphones in and I am looking at my phone. I look up and she signals with her hand for me to get up. I look at her, knowing what she wants but if she doesn’t ask for it she’s not going to get it. Then she’s says “I want to sit.” I say “well can you say please?” She says please and I get up. I thought that was going to be the end of it. I am looking out the window and my back is towards her. She starts yelling and starts saying what a slut someone is. I turn around to see what the fuss is about. I see her looking at me and saying “you’re such a slut, you’re such fucking slut” and some other derogatory words. I say “you have no right to call me a slut.” She keeps going off on a tangent and continues yelling. I yell “you need to fucking shut up,” “you have no right to call me these things,” “how would you like it if I called you a fucking slut, you idiot?” Profanity is usually unneeded but in this case for about 5 minutes straight she wouldn’t stop badgering me. When I said these things in a stern, loud tone she became quiet. As she was about to leave she started back up again, where I yelled again. And again, the bus was full and people heard and saw what was happening.The bus driver simply said to us “be quiet over there, there are kids on the bus” not realizing, nor caring what was going on.

Other instances that sadly happen frequently…

Men: signalling with their hands that I should call them, not staring but leering at me for the entire ride and looking at my breasts like it’s the first time seeing bigger ones, making catcalls about my appearance, looking at me up and down like they’re trying to rip my clothing off with me with their eyes, falling asleep on my shoulder, sitting next to me when the whole train/bus is empty, thinking that because I am wearing a skirt it’s an invitation to look up it, grazing themselves onto my side and especially my back and the typical thigh-to-thigh touching when sitting on a bus/train as if it’s unintentional.

Handsy and Footsies

I was on the #8 Fraser today when a put together older Italian man in a yellow & grey sport jacket started harassing the women on the bus. The first thing I noticed him do was trip a girl purposefully while she was walking past, then try to grab her & apologize. Next he started trying to play footsie with me from across the isle of the bus, I moved my feet away & shot him a look & he stopped. What happened next was the worst of it & it wasn’t directed at me. He started staring too hard & leaning too close to a girl (probably in her mid twenties) making her uncomfortable enough to get up and move. When she did, he reached out & grabbed her ass, which is when me & another young guy on the bus intervened. We had a tense verbal exchange in which he told me to shut the f-ck up & mind my own business, as well as calling me a stupid b-tch. He told me that I shouldn’t be mad at him because the woman he grabbed at hadn’t said anything. I told him that just because she hasn’t said anything, sure as hell didn’t mean that she wanted to be touched by him & that he never has the right to grab a stranger in a sexual way as they try to move past him. He kept yelling, calling me a bitch & telling me to fuck off, so I took out my phone & snapped a picture of him giving me the finger that you could see his face in. After that I told him if he was to harass anyone else on the bus that I’d call the cops & that I had a clear photograph of his face. I still have it on my phone & I uploaded it to Instagram so that if any of my friends see him they’ll know to keep their distance.